Why do I say this? The Conspiracy Coverup Department at NOAA has stated that the sound called The Bloop is actually a relatively common event – the cracking of an ice shelf as it breaks up from Antarctica. People who believe in mermaids would rather believe the theory that a mermaid is making noises loud enough to be heard across the Pacific Ocean than to use common sense and realize that it has to be something of substantial magnitude. I guarantee it was not a mermaid.Īnd The Bloop? Clearly, the Office of Making Up Scientific Names (OOMUSN) was on vacation that week. The program was not really believable in any way, other than two boys may have been walking on the beach in Washington one day and probably poked at something odd that washed up on shore with a stick. THERE IS STILL DEBATE ABOUT WHAT IT MAY BE NAVY SONAR TESTS HAVE BEEN DIRECTLY IMPLICATED THOUGH CERTAIN EVENTS IN THIS FILM ARE FICTIONAL IN THE FILM ARE AFFILIATED OR ASSOCIATED WITH IT INĪNY SIMILARITIES IN THE FILM TO ACTUAL PERSONS, NONE OF THE INSTITUTIONS OR AGENCIES THAT APPEAR I have transcribed these words exactly as they appeared at the end of the credits: Here is the information that was displayed at the end of the program so that you can still interpret it incorrectly into believing there are really mermaids.
Oh, and the very ending of the program had a disclaimer that this was bullshit. I think that the words “dramatic re-enactment” could have been changed to “complete fabrication” and it would have far more accurate. To prove this, they offer many “dramatic re-enactments” involving actors and computer graphic imaging that was not dramatic, nor was it even re-enacting actual events. Sometimes it kills whales or dolphins and sometimes it kills mermaids, too. Navy) is conducting “secret tests” involving underwater sonic weaponry. We are told from an alleged government source (aka “actor”) that the government (in the form of the U.S. Yep, another coverup conspiracy about make-believe creatures is blamed on the government. The program continues by stating that the government knows all about this phenomenon and has instituted a massive cover-up. According to the program, the boys went on record stating that they found a body, but the record was later changed, so if you want to read it for yourself, too bad. Of course, the government “forgot” to take the boys phone that had captured the video, which is how we get to see the footage. Government persuaded the boy’s mothers to do their dirty work. Are you getting this? The all-powerful U.S.
Then one day back in 2004, two kids were playing on the beach in Washington and recording something “odd” that washed up on shore amongst a mass whale beaching – only to find it was a mermaid.īut before they could tell the world, the government – apparently taking a page from the Jedi mind-trick book – persuaded their mothers to convince them that they didn’t really see anything at all. Seriously, that is basically the reason we are given. Are you still with me?īesides the fact that they do not exist, why have we never seen a mermaid? Because they are shy. Oh, and they developed the capability to use sonar waves and communicate with dolphins. These mermaids are able to completely exist in the ocean. The other branch somehow evolved into “aquatic apes” that are now considered today’s mermaids. The main branch evolved into the mostly obese, litigation-happy, text-sending society that we have today. So far, I will admit, that is conceivable. Instead, we are led to believe that these half fish/half women look like hideous prehistoric cave women with bulging cheekbones and large angry eyes.Īpparently, according to the show, humans branched off a few hundred thousand years ago when we were still apelike creatures. The mermaids in this program are not featured as beautiful sirens of the sea that lure sailors away where they fall in love and live happily ever after. Of course, people assumed that since we heard a funny noise in the ocean, it must be mermaids. This is based on the claim that in 1997 scientists heard a funny noise coming from the ocean called The Bloop. Paul Robertson (and who looks suspiciously like Zach Galifianakis, if you ask me) sitting in the background trying to keep a straight face. Throughout the program we are treated to the narrator (David Soul of Starsky and Hutch fame) and an actor (Andre Weideman) who is portraying Dr. For those of you who do not know what I am talking about, I am referring to the television program Mermaids: The Body Found aired by The Animal Planet (again) on May 29, 2013.
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